Hang on to
your seat as Pat G’Orge-Walker spins a hilarious,
inspiring novel of mistakes and second chances, heartache
and love, sin and salvation…
Appearances mean everything to Delilah Dupree Jewel. So
after hearing of her daughter-in-law’s sudden death,
Delilah decides that coming to the rescue of her long
estranged son Jesse and her granddaughter Tamara would be
a good look . . . though Lord knows she’ll have to dig
hard to find her maternal instincts.
But Delilah quickly discovers Jesse wants nothing to do
with her. And Tamara, who’s following in Delilah’s musical
footsteps, isn’t interested in her career advice,
especially since Delilah got ahead using the singing
couch. And Delilah’s old flame Deacon Pillar, an
ex-convict who’s traded in his gangster ways for a Bible,
is stirring up a past that’s sure to shock. Now, all
Delilah knows is that she’d better hold on to her faith,
’cause she needs God now more than ever. . . .
Essence Best Seller for September and October 2007
AALBS Best Comedy Book for 2007
BUT IT'LL HELP!
What happens aboard the ship will NOT
stay aboard the ship…
About the Book
CRUISIN' ON DESPERATION
The members of the Oh-Lawd-Why-Am-I-Still-Single church group have
gathered again to complain about the slim pickings in the little town
of Pelzer, South Carolina, and this time, they really have something
to gripe about. Turns out that newcomer Birdie Tweet's new beau, Lyon
Lipps, is also a con artist who has seduced every member of their
group...and it's time to get a little payback. The girls decide to go
on a cruise, and trick Lyon into going too, enlisting the help of
Pelzer's most beautiful--and vicious--young woman, Ima Hellraiser. Now
the group is riding a wave of bickering, betrayal, and unholy
behavior, with plenty of laughs--and a few revelations--along the
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wherever Books are sold
"Author Pat G'Orge-Walker is
a comic genius! She's woven a brilliant netting of both comical and
loving characters that will cause readers to 'spill their guts'
with 'out loud' laughter."
-Dawn Carter, Fox
Pictures Diversity, Executive Producer, Contradictions of the Heart,
on Desperation" Is a full-blown cure for what ails you. Her book
filled with memorable characters will long dance in your head and have
you laughing a torrential rain of tears. Pat’s artful style of story
telling is both joyful and genuine.
Nadette Stanis (Thelma of Good Times)
"No author can
write a superlative story combined with gut-splitting laughter and a
strong spiritual message every time -- unless that author is Pat
G'Orge- Walker. Her stories are filled with characters that are
likable, even in their differences, because we see ourselves in them."
—Jacquelin Thomas, author of
Defining Moments and The Prodigal Husband
G’Orge-Walker has done
it again! Cruisin’ on Desperation is a winner! Using the one-of-a kind
humor that has made her the Queen of Gospel Comedy, Ms. Walker pens a
tale so funny that you’ll fall out of your chair laughing, and so
poignantly realistic that you’ll wipe tears from your eyes. You’ll
laugh at the shipboard antics of the ladies of the “Oh Lawd, Why Am I
Still Single” singles club as they scheme to take down Lyon Lipps, the
man who has done them all wrong. You’ll cry as the revenge plot turns
into a journey of love and self-acceptance for each woman. Bravo, Ms.
Walker, on a job well done! Cruisin’ on Desperation
is a must-read."
—Angela Benson, author of The Amen
"Pat G'Orge-Walker continues to be one of my favorite
writers of all time. Cruisin' on Desperation is full of fun-loving,
unforgettable characters that readers will find themselves endeared to
for years to come."
—Zane, NY Times
Bestselling Author, Publisher, Strebor Books International
Pat G’Orge-Walker has a winner.
There are a lot of us undercover ‘wishing we could be a bride instead
of always the guest’ women who have girlfriends instead of a permanent
male friend but our hearts are in the right place and God loves us
anyway. He just has another calling and we hope we’re not too old to
hear it. Helping others, via the Maama Kit, keep us going until we
hear “The Call.”
—Akia Shangai of Sisters
"Here's the one place you'll
find page-turning laughs, a soul-stirring message and characters you
won't soon forget. After reading Pat G'Orge-Walker's "Cruisin' on
Desperation," your cruise through life and faith will never be the
—Stacy Hawkins Adams,
author of Nothing But the Right Thing and Speak To My Heart
"If laughter is supposed to
be the best medicine, this book is a cure-all! You'll never look at
cruising the same way again."
— Tia McCollors, author
of Zora's Cry & A Heart of Devotion
In this hilarious
and heartwarming new novel, Pat G’Orge-Walker of Gospel Today
Television returns with the parishioners from the Ain’t Nobody Else
Right But Us—All Others Goin’ to Hell church, while introducing another
congregation of crazy characters from the No Hope Now—Mercy Neva house
of worship. When Sister Betty sets out on a charitable mission to
deliver three million dollars to a religious conference, can chaos—and
laughter—be far behind…?
Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin’ was so good with the smooth words that
she sometimes surprised herself. She adjusted the microphone again and
for about the fifth time since the program started, she pulled something
from another silver-foiled wrapper and slipped it into her mouth.
“I have one other announcement to make. Some of you may know and then
some of you may not have read the church bulletin with big, bold black
letters across the first two pages. Today is my seventy-first birthday.”
The organist, Brother Juan Derr, started pecking out “Happy Birthday
to Ya” and he did it in all 88 keys plus a few more that weren’t on the
organ. The congregation, led by Sister Petunia, sang their well wishes.
Mother waited until the very last chorus and then gave her best
pretend blush, and said humbly, “Y’all are so sweet. I thank God that
He’s kept me this long and I just know in my heart and soul that He’s
gonna let me live to see 100—“
And then it happened and it happened very fast. Suddenly, without
warning, Mother grinned and started babbling about how she was starting
to have a vision. She said, “I feel the sensation of cold air. I believe
the Lord is showing me a snow-capped mountain and I-I feel sun rays
caressing my hair and the wind blowing through it. I hear the beautiful
birds chirping. I-I feel a sensation like I’ve never felt before. God is
givin’ me a vision—”
She suddenly grabbed for the cash register that was nailed between
the pulpit and the Collection table, leaned over, and fell on top of it.
The glint from the mysterious silver foil wrapper could be seen
falling to the floor from Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin’s hand…
Spiritually uplifting and knee-slapping funny, Pat G’Orge-Walker’s
wildly popular books featuring Sister Betty and her fellow parishioners
serve up a heartful of faith along with a generous dose of humor. Now,
she’s at it again with another outrageous adventure featuring the
characters of the Ain’t Nobody Right But Us—All Others Goin’ to Hell
Church. As they bicker and scheme their way to a religious conference in
Baltimore, they just might discover what really matters most…
Sister Betty hasn’t gotten to sit and fan herself for long before
she’s off on another “Mission from God.” It seems that her good friend
Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin’ has died suddenly on her seventy-first
birthday from the overdose sensation of eating a York Peppermint Pattie.
And just as suddenly, Sister Betty is charged with seeing to her
friend’s final wishes, namely, traveling to Baltimore to deliver three,
one-million dollar checks to three different mega-church pastors who are
attending a huge religious conference there. Setting off in a limo with
her no-nonsense, snuff-dipping, half-blind sidekick Ma Cile; Mother
Eternal’s alcoholic nephew, Buddy; and a driver named Mr. Tiny won’t
just test everybody’s religion and nerves; it’ll be a blessing if they
don’t kill each other on the road.
But that’s not the only trouble brewing. When the Reverend Knott
Enuff Money hears that Sister Betty is about to secretly give away a
substantial amount of Mother’s riches, he wants in—even if he has to
follow them all the way to Baltimore, with the equally selfish Brother
Tis Mythang, Bishop Was Nevercalled, and Sister Ima Hellraiser bringing
up the rear. Trying to finagle the money out of Sister Betty right under
the knowing noses of three pastors who really know and serve God is
going to be the biggest challenge the Reverend has ever faced…and one
that just might set him on the path to reclaiming the true spirit of
faith. It seems that even from the grave, Mother Eternal is still
pulling strings, and her bequest is about more than just money; it’s
about the kind of gift that transforms the spiritually bankrupt into the
Once again, Pat G’Orge Walker tells a tale that feels as good as
sitting in a sun-drenched pew on Sunday morning, surrounded by family
and friends. As entertaining as any of her sold-out Sister Betty
performances around the country and on Gospel Today, as
heartwarming as Sister Betty’s Bible-found wisdom, Mother Eternal Ann
Everlastin’ Is Dead is a share-with-friends novel, filled with
laughter and the message of God’s love.
Pat G’Orge-Walker, writer and Christian comedienne, is a
columnist with Gospel Synergy Magazine, a BWA Gold Pen 2000
Innovative Writer award recipient, and a featured performer on Gospel
Today Television. She lives in Elmont, New York, with her family.
author of "SISTER BETTY! GOD'S CALLING YOU AGAIN!" one of the featured
books. In addition to being a part of the montage in Black Expressions
new television campaign, the title was given a separate shot along with
2 other books as representing the best in Christian Fiction; one of the
bestselling Christian fiction titles.."
MOTHER ETERNAL ANN EVERLASTIN'S DEAD
MOTHER ETERNAL ANN EVERLASTIN'S DEAD,
Reviewer: ROBINETTE G.
Keepin' It Real
This is the funniest book I
have ever read. The author puts well known comedians such as Eddie Murphy,
Dave Chapelle and others to shame. She creates unforgettable characters, who
are everywhere we are. In church, at home, at the hairdressers.... and the
situations--we've all been there, and few of us wish to remember. Mother
Eternal and Everlastin's Dead is a must read for all.
MOTHER ETERNAL ANN EVERLASTIN'S
DEAD, Sep 22,2004
Reviewer: Angie H.
Mother Eternal Ann
Everlastin’s Dead is the third installment of the Sister Betty series by
Christian comedienne author, Pat G’orge Walker. Written in the parody style
of today’s gospel plays, Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin’s Dead chastising
portrayal of the "Black Church" is shamefully real. Mother Eternal Ann
Everlasting is realism at it’s best. Pat G’orge Walker exposes the good the
bad and the ugly of the inner workings of the church. With characters who
are true to life she teaches us two valuable lessons. The first being that
God can truly change anyone’s heart and secondly that it’s not good to eat
candy in church.
MOTHER ETERNAL ANN EVERLASTIN'S
Reviewer: RAWSISTAZ R.
For The Love Of Money...
MOTHER ETERNAL ANN
EVERLASTIN'S DEAD has a depth that transcends simple satire. The characters
are well developed, though outrageous, which lends to the deeply
entertaining quality of the book. Pat G'Orge-Walker's apparent ability to
keep readers captivated with the ludicrous antics of her characters makes
for a rip-roaringly comical read. She has scored a definite coup with this
one. --Reviewed by Autumn of The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers
I found this book to be hilarious and uplifting. If
you are a church going person then I can about guarantee that you have
encountered AT LEAST two of these characters. I enjoyed it so much that
I am looking to book Sister Betty at my own church. I belive you will
enjoy it also, unless, of course you are known as one of the characters
and it hits to close to home!!
Was this review helpful to you?
skits 4 sale
For your convenience we
now have skits available on CD. Packed full of outrageous and thought-provoking
antics from the AIN'T NOBODY RIGHT BUT US-ALL OTHERS GOIN' TO HELL CHURCH(the names have been altered to protect the guilty.)
All skits written and created by Pat
G'Orge-Walker and are the sole property of Done Deal Entertainment, Inc.
Skit Scripts are available for
purchase. $25.00 each or $65.00 for all three. Purchase using PayPal, money
email@example.com for more info.
Sister Betty! God's Calling You! - $25.00
In this hilarious misadventure
imagine getting a phone call from God and then preparing your house for a visit.
The visit only became a problem when Sister Betty could not find a recipe for
manna, to serve the Lord, along with several exasperating and outrageous
interruptions during her favorite daytime soaps. Could her best friend,
snuff-dipping, half-blind Ma Cile be of any help?
minutes Characters: 8
It's Only a Hat - $25.00
Both Sister Betty and Sister Ima Hellraiser show up at the Annual Friends and
Family Day celebration wearing the SAME "one of a kind" hat. You know it's on!!!
Time: 60 min
Characters: 6 (plus Extras)
Love 4 Sale - $25.00
Sister Need Sum and the other members of the "Oh Lawd, Why Am I Still Single"
singles club decide to hold a church singles auction utilizing unknowns from an
internet chat room. What could possibly go wrong?
Dignified folk shouldn't read this one outside of the confines
of their private parlor. Believe me, you don't want non' of this in public! This
is definitely a `hoot' aloud book. Pat G'Orge-Walker serves up the laughs in her
hilarious book, "Sister Betty, God's Calling You Again," about the dysfunctional
church folks in your congregation and mine, whether you belong to a Mega Church,
or the Friendship Baptist Church on your local main street.I've belonged to
both, having traveled the world with a military spouse. That's why this a
special joy. It takes the reader home.
Sister Betty receives a call from God himself. Her
transformation comes through a series of hysterics, learned lessons and
self-reflections. The characters are so familiar. You can't turn a page with
being able to relate to one of them.
Seven stories; cleverly signifying the biblical realm. Seven
churches and Seven Seals; the most heralded number in the Bible. Well, this is
seven, very humorous stories with monumental lessons, told candidly and
honestly, using church-parody.
Pat G'Orge-Walker cleverly takes on a niche' not many can, in
making real, poignant statements about the superficial antics of church folks.
She takes on the art of church hypocrisy to a real eye-peeling level. Walker is
quite a descriptive writer, which easily makes this book more pleasurable,
because you can definitely see and hear her `busy characters.' Several members
of our book club emailed to say that they loved the way she fashions hats to
reveal subliminal messages about situations and characters. Reading "Sister
Betty, God's Calling You, Again," is like sitting in front of a sitcom.
Debra Whitmire, SAblack online book club member. (Now living